stitchwhich (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stitchwhich) wrote2006-04-06 12:32 am
stitchwhich) wrote2006-04-06 12:32 am
Entry tags:
Don't get all depressed at this
So I'm noodling... thinking. And what I'm thinking of will seem morbid to some - if you're one, just stop reading. I'm trying to figure out humanisms. (That would be my new word for 'actions that define humans' or something like that.) See, what I was trying to come to grips with is how it is that we can so easily determine paths of action for ourselves and at the same time, absolutely forbid them to anyone else.
For instance, suicide. I believe I have the right to say, "I'm done with this game." To be self-determined (excluding those things mighty enough to step in and determine for me - like a plane crashing through my house or something). I would never, ever, deny someone the right to end their misery and suffering... yet I am surrounded by those who seem to think that no matter how poor someone's quality of life is, they are obligated to squeeze out as many minutes of horrendous pain as they can because to do less is to *harm someone else*. You know - 'you are obligated to stay alive, no matter what, because I can't deal with you being not-here'. I find those who condemn suicides to be very, very selfish. Understandably so, yes, but regrettable, all the same, that they can't view the one gone on as someone who needed compassion and understanding - before and after that act.
Take cancer. Should I, in some day, contract cancer, I know that one of the things I will be debating with myself is whether or not I am willing to fight it. That is merely one facet in what would be a huge decision process, yet it is a very important decision I would have to make before making any other. So imagine my surprise, when talking about it with my mom's family, to find that I am not allowed to not fight it. Oh, no. I must 'never give up, never lay down, never surrender'. Why? Because they say so. Because I belong, somehow, to them and they have veto power over my body. And if they should get cancer? Well - it's 'different for them'. "They don't want to cause the family harm by dragging things out..."
See what I mean? How is it that we so easily do that? Put our our wants ("I don't want to lose you") over the needs and desires of others while still deciding in our own minds to take the steps we forbid to others? We can look down a long weary road of pain and dependence and say, "never for me" while denying that to those we care about.
All I can come up with is 'fear'. Fear of being left behind, of being alone, of losing a connection we cherish. And maybe that's why I'm so weird. Because death seems so - adventurous. (Yeah, I know, that sounds really bizarre). Nah, you can't come back and tell anyone here what's on the other side, but come on, folks - there's *another side*. All new. All different. No matter which faith path you follow, there's something 'over there' to look forward to, something different and exciting to experience. And your connection to others doesn't really go away - you just lose immediate chatting capability. As it were. :)
I envy the ones who already know what's there. Only a little, though - I'm still liking 'here' too much to want to go adventuring.
Okay, so this isn't all that coherent. I warned ya that I was in a weird frame. I just, I just spent too much of the last few days watching people deal with fear, depression, illness and death, and it got me to thinking about how very odd humans can be.
For instance, suicide. I believe I have the right to say, "I'm done with this game." To be self-determined (excluding those things mighty enough to step in and determine for me - like a plane crashing through my house or something). I would never, ever, deny someone the right to end their misery and suffering... yet I am surrounded by those who seem to think that no matter how poor someone's quality of life is, they are obligated to squeeze out as many minutes of horrendous pain as they can because to do less is to *harm someone else*. You know - 'you are obligated to stay alive, no matter what, because I can't deal with you being not-here'. I find those who condemn suicides to be very, very selfish. Understandably so, yes, but regrettable, all the same, that they can't view the one gone on as someone who needed compassion and understanding - before and after that act.
Take cancer. Should I, in some day, contract cancer, I know that one of the things I will be debating with myself is whether or not I am willing to fight it. That is merely one facet in what would be a huge decision process, yet it is a very important decision I would have to make before making any other. So imagine my surprise, when talking about it with my mom's family, to find that I am not allowed to not fight it. Oh, no. I must 'never give up, never lay down, never surrender'. Why? Because they say so. Because I belong, somehow, to them and they have veto power over my body. And if they should get cancer? Well - it's 'different for them'. "They don't want to cause the family harm by dragging things out..."
See what I mean? How is it that we so easily do that? Put our our wants ("I don't want to lose you") over the needs and desires of others while still deciding in our own minds to take the steps we forbid to others? We can look down a long weary road of pain and dependence and say, "never for me" while denying that to those we care about.
All I can come up with is 'fear'. Fear of being left behind, of being alone, of losing a connection we cherish. And maybe that's why I'm so weird. Because death seems so - adventurous. (Yeah, I know, that sounds really bizarre). Nah, you can't come back and tell anyone here what's on the other side, but come on, folks - there's *another side*. All new. All different. No matter which faith path you follow, there's something 'over there' to look forward to, something different and exciting to experience. And your connection to others doesn't really go away - you just lose immediate chatting capability. As it were. :)
I envy the ones who already know what's there. Only a little, though - I'm still liking 'here' too much to want to go adventuring.
Okay, so this isn't all that coherent. I warned ya that I was in a weird frame. I just, I just spent too much of the last few days watching people deal with fear, depression, illness and death, and it got me to thinking about how very odd humans can be.