stitchwhich (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stitchwhich) wrote2006-09-07 05:15 am
stitchwhich) wrote2006-09-07 05:15 am
"Judge Not" ?
Okay, so, some folk’s ideas of oath and such are the same as my own, some are different (and thank you for sharing those) and as expected, some really fueled further contemplation. (If you are curious, you’ll have to click on my name and go to the last entry in my journal. I’m afraid that I don’t know how to write links in LJ yet. And no, that’s not a request to be taught. It’s not yet 5am and I’m up because I’m in pain. And because I don’t trust LJ to not hiccup, lose my entry, and thus irk me – I am writing this in Word so I can save it better. I will look up the method later.) Anyway, if you are curious, go there first – those of you who wrote almost immediately might like to read what others wrote.)
So…. Judgment.
Christian thought is determined by Christ’s words: “Judge not, lest ye also be judged.” which I have always loved and admired, as they enshrine humility and the compassion (and acceptance of others) that is so hard for me to attain. And yet… I am not sure that my understanding of that precept is a good one. Because without the daily acts of judgment that we unconsciously accept, we could not function as responsible adults. We do not leave our children with drunk babysitters, for example. We may, or may not, take someone’s advice – and part of that decision is based on our judgment of how ‘valid’ that person’s own judgment of the situation is.
Then there are the leaders, the inspirers who we admire. Part, I suspect, of what inspires us is their sureness of purpose and, well, their ability to judge and act on that judgment. This is not to say that it is not done with compassion, love for fellow man (I cite the Dali Llama and Mother Theresa) – yet unarguably, they are seen to weigh and then – judge.
So I suspect that the simple ‘judge not’ is conditional to situation and I have been trying to use it as a wide brush in an already nearly-complete painting. One of my goals in life is to become someone who can help others. To me, that seems to include being, well, a leader. And to be a leader, one must exercise, nay accept, the act of judging others and acting on that. This would be the fence that I balk at jumping in the exercise yard of life. (What a BAD metaphor! Did it make you flinch? Hey, my last name is “Morgan”…)
So what do you think? What are your parameters for that human act of judging others? What helps you define when it is soul/self appropriate and when it is hubris?
EIDT: Upon reflection, I realised that my lax writing style is going to give Evan brain-burn... let me explain. I already judge lots of things, lots of people. Of course I do. So do you. Let me just use one word: "Bush". See? You are exercising judgment. Here's the deal: I am having difficulty defining for myself when it is edifying and when it is hubris. And how to convey the difference... for example, just recently I had an opportunity to spend some time around a friend who I know mostly through email and phone calls. Frequently, in response to a comment I made about some mutually-known person, that friend's response (commentary) would be, "Mee-owwww". And my reaction was - to be hurt. Why? Because "Me-ow" implies a judgment: "You are being catty." while my comment was meant a simple acknowledgement of a facet of what makes that person the person that we know. Factual, in my view, and with no condemnation ("judgement of unworthiness") implied. As in, Terri has blue eyes. Terri is fat. Terri IS fat - why is it a negative judgement to say so, to publically acknowledge a variable in Terri's makeup that will affect our relationship with her? Can she sit in that chair? No, it is rated for weight lower than hers. Can she ride all the rides at the amusement park? Again, no. Does that mean she is a horrid person? No - it is simply a fact about Terri. Can it change? Well... duh. So would I condemn someone for saying to a friend outside of my hearing that I am fat? Good gravy, of course not. And further, I'd not condemn them for discussing how that affects my mental health through my self-image or my limited ability to perform certain physical functions - especially if it led to a greater understanding of what makes me tick and how it would make their lives easier in relating to me. ("Let's stop inviting her to marathons as a runner and see instead if she'd like to man one of the refreshement stations where she can help but not kill herself. Then we can still share in the experience without doing harm to any of us.")
So. I got my feelings hurt by realising that I was being judged, and judged poorly, for statments that I did not intend maliciously. And I think that my hurt came through an awareness that "Judge not" is only part of the statement we quote but too often "Lest you also be judged" (i.e. you create the ruler by which G*d measures you) is forgotten int the follow-through. My intent was assumed, probably based on something other than what, or who, I am but rather what the average person in that hearer's life would mean by such a statement. So I ended up feeling defensive and in that feeling, dropped the conversation (but not the hurt) rather than explain/defend my statement and where it was coming from. And, of course, since this happened more frequently than usual in my world, it sparked a re-examination of what I say about others, how I mean it, and how different, really, am I in how I view others in my sphere compared to how friends, or even strangers, view those around them. Acknowledging behaviour traits in others can be seen as judgmental condemnation - heck, we all irritate each other with our own traits - but without acknowleding them, how can we fit them into the greater whole that comprises our friend and give the trait balance in comparison with their other traits? How can we help them, as we'd like to be helped, to become greater than what they are? Is not growth of spirit the goal in life?
And... I am aware that I can, and do, use the imperative, "judge not", as a cop-out. The statement (mental or vocal) "It's not my place to judge" is sometimes a reminder that I am letting annoyance or even, I admit, a grudge, influence my reaction to a person or a situation. But - it is also sometimes an excuse that I use to ignore or refuse to act on a situation that makes me unhappy. To give myself an excuse, if you will, to NOT act when I know that I am in a position to change a situation so that others will be helped... because the risk to myself of pain/rejection is too great. And that is counter to "if you can help and refuse to do so, then you must take responsibility for whatever negative outcome results from your inaction." So I am trying, again, to find a way to narrow down the incholate roiling cloud of "judge not" into something more solid and with, if I'm lucky this time, edges that can be used as guides towards Right Action.
Christian thought, which cetainly shaped much of my ethic code, strives towards the erasure of "self" in the immersion/awareness of the Greater Diety. Buddhist thought carries the same goal, "Nirvana", but can, in some paths, encourage the development as self-as-emerging-Diety as a tool towards that melding with Diety. Wiccan thought, at least in my school of faith, accepts that human souls are in a state of evolution towards Diety, which requires an acceptance of greater responsibility, as we age and develop, for affecting life around us, including the lifes of others. I am lazy. I look for an excuse, too often, to shirk that growth. And can find excuses for that shirking in selected texts and philosophies of other faiths I admire. So today, I sat myself down and admitted that I am aware I am stunting my developement as a soul.
I'm just not sure there is a guide for where to go from here.
So…. Judgment.
Christian thought is determined by Christ’s words: “Judge not, lest ye also be judged.” which I have always loved and admired, as they enshrine humility and the compassion (and acceptance of others) that is so hard for me to attain. And yet… I am not sure that my understanding of that precept is a good one. Because without the daily acts of judgment that we unconsciously accept, we could not function as responsible adults. We do not leave our children with drunk babysitters, for example. We may, or may not, take someone’s advice – and part of that decision is based on our judgment of how ‘valid’ that person’s own judgment of the situation is.
Then there are the leaders, the inspirers who we admire. Part, I suspect, of what inspires us is their sureness of purpose and, well, their ability to judge and act on that judgment. This is not to say that it is not done with compassion, love for fellow man (I cite the Dali Llama and Mother Theresa) – yet unarguably, they are seen to weigh and then – judge.
So I suspect that the simple ‘judge not’ is conditional to situation and I have been trying to use it as a wide brush in an already nearly-complete painting. One of my goals in life is to become someone who can help others. To me, that seems to include being, well, a leader. And to be a leader, one must exercise, nay accept, the act of judging others and acting on that. This would be the fence that I balk at jumping in the exercise yard of life. (What a BAD metaphor! Did it make you flinch? Hey, my last name is “Morgan”…)
So what do you think? What are your parameters for that human act of judging others? What helps you define when it is soul/self appropriate and when it is hubris?
EIDT: Upon reflection, I realised that my lax writing style is going to give Evan brain-burn... let me explain. I already judge lots of things, lots of people. Of course I do. So do you. Let me just use one word: "Bush". See? You are exercising judgment. Here's the deal: I am having difficulty defining for myself when it is edifying and when it is hubris. And how to convey the difference... for example, just recently I had an opportunity to spend some time around a friend who I know mostly through email and phone calls. Frequently, in response to a comment I made about some mutually-known person, that friend's response (commentary) would be, "Mee-owwww". And my reaction was - to be hurt. Why? Because "Me-ow" implies a judgment: "You are being catty." while my comment was meant a simple acknowledgement of a facet of what makes that person the person that we know. Factual, in my view, and with no condemnation ("judgement of unworthiness") implied. As in, Terri has blue eyes. Terri is fat. Terri IS fat - why is it a negative judgement to say so, to publically acknowledge a variable in Terri's makeup that will affect our relationship with her? Can she sit in that chair? No, it is rated for weight lower than hers. Can she ride all the rides at the amusement park? Again, no. Does that mean she is a horrid person? No - it is simply a fact about Terri. Can it change? Well... duh. So would I condemn someone for saying to a friend outside of my hearing that I am fat? Good gravy, of course not. And further, I'd not condemn them for discussing how that affects my mental health through my self-image or my limited ability to perform certain physical functions - especially if it led to a greater understanding of what makes me tick and how it would make their lives easier in relating to me. ("Let's stop inviting her to marathons as a runner and see instead if she'd like to man one of the refreshement stations where she can help but not kill herself. Then we can still share in the experience without doing harm to any of us.")
So. I got my feelings hurt by realising that I was being judged, and judged poorly, for statments that I did not intend maliciously. And I think that my hurt came through an awareness that "Judge not" is only part of the statement we quote but too often "Lest you also be judged" (i.e. you create the ruler by which G*d measures you) is forgotten int the follow-through. My intent was assumed, probably based on something other than what, or who, I am but rather what the average person in that hearer's life would mean by such a statement. So I ended up feeling defensive and in that feeling, dropped the conversation (but not the hurt) rather than explain/defend my statement and where it was coming from. And, of course, since this happened more frequently than usual in my world, it sparked a re-examination of what I say about others, how I mean it, and how different, really, am I in how I view others in my sphere compared to how friends, or even strangers, view those around them. Acknowledging behaviour traits in others can be seen as judgmental condemnation - heck, we all irritate each other with our own traits - but without acknowleding them, how can we fit them into the greater whole that comprises our friend and give the trait balance in comparison with their other traits? How can we help them, as we'd like to be helped, to become greater than what they are? Is not growth of spirit the goal in life?
And... I am aware that I can, and do, use the imperative, "judge not", as a cop-out. The statement (mental or vocal) "It's not my place to judge" is sometimes a reminder that I am letting annoyance or even, I admit, a grudge, influence my reaction to a person or a situation. But - it is also sometimes an excuse that I use to ignore or refuse to act on a situation that makes me unhappy. To give myself an excuse, if you will, to NOT act when I know that I am in a position to change a situation so that others will be helped... because the risk to myself of pain/rejection is too great. And that is counter to "if you can help and refuse to do so, then you must take responsibility for whatever negative outcome results from your inaction." So I am trying, again, to find a way to narrow down the incholate roiling cloud of "judge not" into something more solid and with, if I'm lucky this time, edges that can be used as guides towards Right Action.
Christian thought, which cetainly shaped much of my ethic code, strives towards the erasure of "self" in the immersion/awareness of the Greater Diety. Buddhist thought carries the same goal, "Nirvana", but can, in some paths, encourage the development as self-as-emerging-Diety as a tool towards that melding with Diety. Wiccan thought, at least in my school of faith, accepts that human souls are in a state of evolution towards Diety, which requires an acceptance of greater responsibility, as we age and develop, for affecting life around us, including the lifes of others. I am lazy. I look for an excuse, too often, to shirk that growth. And can find excuses for that shirking in selected texts and philosophies of other faiths I admire. So today, I sat myself down and admitted that I am aware I am stunting my developement as a soul.
I'm just not sure there is a guide for where to go from here.