stitchwhich (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stitchwhich) wrote2006-10-05 11:28 pm
stitchwhich) wrote2006-10-05 11:28 pm
Deep saying - not!
The little computer game that I play is called 'fortune tiles' and whenever you win a game-level, it displays a 'fortune' comment. I always grin at, "Whenever you wish to test the depth of a stream, do not use both feet."
Got a doc's appointment first thing tomorrow. Arni is taking me. I'm so glad he's off from work and can do that. I don't think I can drive. Right now, getting dressed is going to be challenge enough. Either this is some incredible pain or I've just got totally wussy (my working theory) but this doubled-over weeping shit has got to stop. The pain is now from the middle of my back (JUST like 'back labor") through the gut and even my thighs are like rocks from the radiating cramps. Can't eat. Feel nauseated and faint in cool little waves. I'm about desperate. I remember that it was like this when I was a child, pre-'the pill'. That's why they put me on the stuff. Now that it's 'change of life' time, I was taken off of that. I'm at the point of not caring if it will induce a heart attack or cancer or whatever the heck it is that makes it dangerous at this stage of life. I can't live like this, at the whim of my hormones. The meds he prescribed two weeks ago didn't touch this and he's instructed me to stop taking them until I see him. Right now, I've got 800mg of motrin in me and I even took 10mg of valium that I had left over (it's a muscle relaxer and well, I think I need it for its other qualities right now too. I'm having difficulty getting into a trance state where I can let the pain drop from importance.)
I just want it to stop. Please, Blessed Mother and Father, please, make it stop.
Got a doc's appointment first thing tomorrow. Arni is taking me. I'm so glad he's off from work and can do that. I don't think I can drive. Right now, getting dressed is going to be challenge enough. Either this is some incredible pain or I've just got totally wussy (my working theory) but this doubled-over weeping shit has got to stop. The pain is now from the middle of my back (JUST like 'back labor") through the gut and even my thighs are like rocks from the radiating cramps. Can't eat. Feel nauseated and faint in cool little waves. I'm about desperate. I remember that it was like this when I was a child, pre-'the pill'. That's why they put me on the stuff. Now that it's 'change of life' time, I was taken off of that. I'm at the point of not caring if it will induce a heart attack or cancer or whatever the heck it is that makes it dangerous at this stage of life. I can't live like this, at the whim of my hormones. The meds he prescribed two weeks ago didn't touch this and he's instructed me to stop taking them until I see him. Right now, I've got 800mg of motrin in me and I even took 10mg of valium that I had left over (it's a muscle relaxer and well, I think I need it for its other qualities right now too. I'm having difficulty getting into a trance state where I can let the pain drop from importance.)
I just want it to stop. Please, Blessed Mother and Father, please, make it stop.