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Past the crisis
May. 16th, 2009 01:46 amSo. I'm getting ready to give my therapist the old heave-ho. She's done her job and from here out, it's pretty much on me. I somewhat thought about trying to extend the sessions since like everyone, I have things I'd like to work out in my pysche but she explained to me that she doesn't "do" the sort of therapy that involves actually talking about past trauma and trying to heal it by facing it and all that stuff. She's of the school that believes all that really accomplishes for most patients is to re-traumatise them. I wouldn't mind doing that, actually, but I know it is a long, long process and frankly, there are better ways to spend my time. Although it seems a little wussy to look at all that pain and say, "No, no, I'm not going to talk about that. Put that away."
I have learned a lot in the past weeks of our talks. One of the things I've learned is how much I cherish my husband. I suppose sometimes it doesn't show but I honestly love and respect that man more than anyone on earth...
I have to build my self-esteem. (I can see raised eyebrows there. Yeah, yeah, yeah...) I checked out the reccomended books my therapist directed me to and I've got to say, they read like any other self-help article in any magazine. She did give me a copy of a great article called "The Art of Self-Parenting" which was NOT written by the folks who are making a mint off of that phrase with their online books and chatrooms. Anyway.
So I've thought about it, and about the way you all have cheered me up (and on) so much since I've joined the online blogging world and what I've decided to do as my personal workout towards a better self-image is to go back through my LJ, read the entries and the comments and then tag the ones that make me feel good. And set myself a goal to read one or two every day and to train myself to hear the voices of my friends, not the ones of my memories. I think that will be healthier and far more specific therapy than any of those workbooks I spent a few hours reviewing at Barnes & Noble's. (And drinking (shudder) some of their coffee... I should stick to Diet Pepsi.) Besides, it will be a fun stroll down memroy lane to re-read the entries and to remember those times. I expect I'll find some forgotten gems in there.
My next post will be during daylight hours, when I can take my new building outside and photograph it and plaster all sorts of pictures of it all over my LJ, complete with gushing excited comments. And no, I didn't make it to bed after I posted. I stayed up and built the second floor too. What can I say???
I have learned a lot in the past weeks of our talks. One of the things I've learned is how much I cherish my husband. I suppose sometimes it doesn't show but I honestly love and respect that man more than anyone on earth...
I have to build my self-esteem. (I can see raised eyebrows there. Yeah, yeah, yeah...) I checked out the reccomended books my therapist directed me to and I've got to say, they read like any other self-help article in any magazine. She did give me a copy of a great article called "The Art of Self-Parenting" which was NOT written by the folks who are making a mint off of that phrase with their online books and chatrooms. Anyway.
So I've thought about it, and about the way you all have cheered me up (and on) so much since I've joined the online blogging world and what I've decided to do as my personal workout towards a better self-image is to go back through my LJ, read the entries and the comments and then tag the ones that make me feel good. And set myself a goal to read one or two every day and to train myself to hear the voices of my friends, not the ones of my memories. I think that will be healthier and far more specific therapy than any of those workbooks I spent a few hours reviewing at Barnes & Noble's. (And drinking (shudder) some of their coffee... I should stick to Diet Pepsi.) Besides, it will be a fun stroll down memroy lane to re-read the entries and to remember those times. I expect I'll find some forgotten gems in there.
My next post will be during daylight hours, when I can take my new building outside and photograph it and plaster all sorts of pictures of it all over my LJ, complete with gushing excited comments. And no, I didn't make it to bed after I posted. I stayed up and built the second floor too. What can I say???
