stitchwhich | Playing to our higher self? (Reply)

I recently have been musing on my lack of compassion. Thin skin? maybe. It's no excuse... (I'll grant it to others but I reserve the right to be harsher with myself. I prefer to strive to live up to my own standards.) I've been bothered not just a little, by tales of backstabbing and nastiness. Enough to want to strike back, somehow, to - well, resolve it one way or the other so it could stop bothering me. And in that being bothered, I've lost sight of my own desire to view the best of someone instead of the worst. I can't stop backbiting and sly remarks. Not by shining a light on them or by ignoring them with dignity (or even poorly-hidden pain). Folks who do that and who encourage it in others have their own insecurities and nothing I say or do can help them heal from those - that takes a decision on their part to want to heal. And none of us are in a position to force such a thing. So I have to let this irritation, this defensive pain, go. Because in allowing it to rule my thoughts about the situation, I'm becoming like the ones who are hurting me and mine. And that is unacceptable.
So if, in the future, I stop you from telling me a tale, and ask if it's something I can do anything about, please understand that it's not personal about you. It's about protecting what I hold dear - my ability to love without judging. Because it's far too easy for me to lose that when my heart has been cheese-grated.