It's alive
Feb. 14th, 2006 07:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stitchwhichThe sun is rising - it paints my curtains golden this time of morning. That is one advantage to sleeplessness - that I am awake to see the beauty of sunrise. Another is that I don't have to turn on a light to get ready for sleep again.
I think I want to live, after all. I was in doubt for a couple of mouth-breathing sneeze-filled head-exploding days. But you know how it goes, something turns, like a tide, in your system and you know that you are healing. It's just as obvious when you're dealing with a piddly little head cold as it is when you're dealing with something life-threatening. There is a particular state of grace, I'd have to call it, a stillness that evokes being grounded and, well, growing, somehow. It's a good feeling. Almost a rush. I am reminded of coming out of my back surgery attached to all those tubes and unable to move and yet feeling more whole than I did before the surgery even though before it I could walk and move. "I'm not going to die today". It's that kind of a settling-in.
After being corrected on the number of Anita Blake books there are, I went and looked at our copies. And got a pleasant surprise. There was one on the shelf that I actually hadn't read. Sometimes Arn & my 'book sorting' holding-shelf system fails and a book gets shifted from "I read it, your turn" pile to the bookshelves without one of us reading it. So it was with "Narcissus in Chains". I'd wondered, when I was reading "Cerulean Sins" why Ms. Hamilton had jumped forward so much. It was a big leap and not her style. And so it proved - she hadn't leapt, I just hadn't followed well. I prefer to re-read books when I'm sick (not, however, when I'm damaged). My head is usually too stuffy and confused to follow or absorb a good new book so I re-read the old ones. It works well - not only do I get to travel down memory lane but I get to think it's a new lane, too, thanks to the sinus-stupidity. Now I have learned that a new book is fine so long as it's in the same 'world' as a familiar set of old books. That's cool. I learned something new. And I get to re-read "Cerulean Dreams" with a lot better idea of what the heck was significant in the storyline. I could tell before that I was missing cues but had no idea why I didn't get them. Duh.
I spent part of my stupid time chasing down weblinks. Arn found a copy of my 'Easy garb Embellishment' handout on a floppy disc at work and was able to email the file to me. Since my copy had become unsalvagable with the death of the old computer, I had given it up as a loss and was not looking forward to re-writing the whole thing. Now I have (an early and smaller) version of it to use as a starting point for the next handout. This is good because I'm presenting the lecture up in Caer Mear in March and being brain-damaged right now, I was worried that I wasn't going to get things prepared in time. But it turns out that most of the links still work and the few that don't are mostly just new website changes... there are only one or two images that have completely disappeared so I'll have to find replacements for them. I wonder how much of the presentation I should update with new images? It already runs a fast-paced two hours. But we have much more information now than we did when I first wrote it five or six years ago. Reminded me of our blessings, it did, in the scholarly world.
I think I want to live, after all. I was in doubt for a couple of mouth-breathing sneeze-filled head-exploding days. But you know how it goes, something turns, like a tide, in your system and you know that you are healing. It's just as obvious when you're dealing with a piddly little head cold as it is when you're dealing with something life-threatening. There is a particular state of grace, I'd have to call it, a stillness that evokes being grounded and, well, growing, somehow. It's a good feeling. Almost a rush. I am reminded of coming out of my back surgery attached to all those tubes and unable to move and yet feeling more whole than I did before the surgery even though before it I could walk and move. "I'm not going to die today". It's that kind of a settling-in.
After being corrected on the number of Anita Blake books there are, I went and looked at our copies. And got a pleasant surprise. There was one on the shelf that I actually hadn't read. Sometimes Arn & my 'book sorting' holding-shelf system fails and a book gets shifted from "I read it, your turn" pile to the bookshelves without one of us reading it. So it was with "Narcissus in Chains". I'd wondered, when I was reading "Cerulean Sins" why Ms. Hamilton had jumped forward so much. It was a big leap and not her style. And so it proved - she hadn't leapt, I just hadn't followed well. I prefer to re-read books when I'm sick (not, however, when I'm damaged). My head is usually too stuffy and confused to follow or absorb a good new book so I re-read the old ones. It works well - not only do I get to travel down memory lane but I get to think it's a new lane, too, thanks to the sinus-stupidity. Now I have learned that a new book is fine so long as it's in the same 'world' as a familiar set of old books. That's cool. I learned something new. And I get to re-read "Cerulean Dreams" with a lot better idea of what the heck was significant in the storyline. I could tell before that I was missing cues but had no idea why I didn't get them. Duh.
I spent part of my stupid time chasing down weblinks. Arn found a copy of my 'Easy garb Embellishment' handout on a floppy disc at work and was able to email the file to me. Since my copy had become unsalvagable with the death of the old computer, I had given it up as a loss and was not looking forward to re-writing the whole thing. Now I have (an early and smaller) version of it to use as a starting point for the next handout. This is good because I'm presenting the lecture up in Caer Mear in March and being brain-damaged right now, I was worried that I wasn't going to get things prepared in time. But it turns out that most of the links still work and the few that don't are mostly just new website changes... there are only one or two images that have completely disappeared so I'll have to find replacements for them. I wonder how much of the presentation I should update with new images? It already runs a fast-paced two hours. But we have much more information now than we did when I first wrote it five or six years ago. Reminded me of our blessings, it did, in the scholarly world.
