Thoughts

I have wasted five hours on my computer, mostly reading LiveJournal (I'm far behind in my reading) or the Book of Faces. Or the news. Or email. Or playing basic graph-based games...

Perhaps I really should get back to sewing the trim on the left side of the Rus coat I'm planning on wearing this weekend? Maybe?

I'm avoiding working on a scroll - the paper I chose for the thing (Bristol) is very thick so my light-board isn't working well. I'm not an artist, can't draw worth a darn, so need the silly light-board in order to get anything done. But it is so dim on the other side of that Bristol paper that I actually took my glasses off and had my face hovering a few inches above the surface so I could squint enough to see the images shining behind. I have the bottom edge design traced out and am only needing to draft in the left edge patterning and then - OMG - do the text. Which, btw, will be traced with an extra-fine Sharpie pen and not callig'd. This is because I "wrote a cheque from an empty account". I haven't had a chance to practice any calligraphy and being a leftie means that it takes me a bit longer to get up to speed. The two scrolls are due this Saturday morning. I shouldn't have volunteered to do them but I got my time sense confused and thought I had an extra week to get them done after the camping event.

My meal plan was successful as far as the diners went. I was unhappy with the level of disorganization that I had and grateful that I had a 'memos' app on my phone so I could make a list for myself in the middle of the night, that being when solutions to problems seem to become clear and elegant. If I'd waited until morning they'd be lost forever. The biggest difficulty was my own lack of ease in getting things done. This would have been alleviated had I asked for a kitchen helper every day instead of trying to do it all myself and if I'd stored the dry goods in bins sorted by meals. Asking someone to lay out the items in a small 'breakfast' bin while I started the hot water on the stove would be such a step up from my own rooting around in a giant bin pulling out boxes and jars while folks hovered in the public area waiting for their coffee and oatmeal and the unneeded items had to be placed on any convenient surface while I found the breakfast or lunch items.

I learned that my 'food restriction' person had given me, as we suspected, a list of foods that were a blend of dangerous-to-her ones and personal dislikes. As she said on Friday when I mentioned that I might just end up scrambling everyone's eggs on Saturday, " I don't DO scrambled eggs!" I bit back the reactive "Then you can just eat oatmeal if you are lucky, b*tch" thought that immediately crossed my mind. (I was in pain and very cold, it being a little over 40 degrees, so grumpy.) Later in the day she mentioned that she had been through a three-month elimination diet with no appreciable results so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt that she may not actually know what is causing her intestinal discomfort. I imagine it must be quite frustrating to find that some foods create dire effects one day and yet not on different one, with no medical explanation of why or the common factor. Nonetheless, she will not be on my meal plan next year.

Oh, did I mention that I am already planning on doing it again next year? I did enjoy it even through the frustrations of my disorganization. It's been years since I've cooked a meal plan for more than four people. Probably a full decade, actually. And I ended up with 5 more people on it by Friday - the head of a household who'd asked after the plan just 12 hours before I was due to leave home told his shire members that they were on it. Which I learned after they arrived two-by-two from out-of-kingdom. But with the help of a person swinging by the grocery store after their trip to Lowe's, we had plenty for everyone. They loved the chawettes, they loved the lumpia, and they adored the SOS. Which made me giggle - of all things boring SOS seems to be the one that people greet with raised eyebrows and then come back to the kitchen sniffing hopefully for seconds.

It was cold at night. Just barely above freezing. We slept warm though, and shared Bossman's air mattress instead of setting up our normal two beds. I had expected that the arrangement wouldn't work - he normally sleeps catty-corner on the mattress so he can fit. But instead we fitted together just fine. I guess old habits are not ever lost. :) The mattress was difficult for me on the days he wasn't there as I could barely get off of the thing but once he got on site I was fine so long as he was in the bed while I was exiting. I needed that extra firmness to push off from! Before we left home we went to a secondhand store and bought a couple of quilted bedspreads to take with us for the bed. I'd meant to buy only one but there were two that matched and he wanted both of them. So after two thin wool blankets were laid down one quilt (King sized!) followed, then our down comforter, then the other matching quilt. They were large enough that I could tuck the ends and the foot-level bits of the sides under the mattress, which effectively kept the blankets from sliding off the mattress during the night. Those things are not designed for tucking in one's bedding. The plan was to return the quilts to the store as donations, effectively 'renting' them for the duration of the event (a whole $14us!) and keeping us from having to find new storage space for them, but he likes the ugly things so now they are packed into a vacuum-sealed bag and put away on top of the camping gear for next Pennsic.

We had brought a small but powerful propane heater with us. We never needed to use it. We did finally figure out that it was useful on Sunday morning for the gathering area while folks had their breakfast and coffee/tea though. It was nice to have that hot air blowing on us.

The Great Dark Horde camp had six brothers camping in it and eight chagua. We had a couple of Brothers have to cancel plans, durn it. I made twelve new sheet walls for the camp to go with the six I'd already made - there were no more than that there. No one else made or brought any. Luckily for my morale, I had only expected one more wall to show up, as I knew that most of thems who made walls were not going to be able to attend. I just bought more sheets to launder and cut into new walls. Hopefully if I do a set of two sheets every payday we'll have enough by next WoW. Friends of ours who live in Clarksville are going to let us store the household's camping supplies (sheetwalls and poles. Maybe a fire bowl) at their place so we can have them consolidated. Having each of us store and bring a personal set of supplies was good in theory but rotten in practice. Next week, after our Baronial Investiture event is over I shall start painting designs on the walls with the help of some of my khanate members. That will be fun.

It is funny how (mostly) unacknowledged fear can cripple a person. A month ago, I struggled to make seven tunics and one gown for people headed to Pennsic. It took me two weeks and at least one evening of tears, with background mind-music playing "this used to be so easy, what's wrong with you?'. I left the event with the intention of making two more gowns for a person who didn't fit anything I'd prepared, yet no scissors met fabric until today. Although I did dye 4 yards of white so it'd be a nice lavender.

Tuesday was my dietician appointment. I approached it with dread - too many crisis's, too many party/celebrations over the last two months had garnered me too many pages in my food log with "over allowed amount" or even just "binged" written across the page. I was ashamed and the only thing that forced me to make the appointment was the big banner I'd read on their welcoming page which said "don't avoid your appointment if you've not lost weight - we are here to help you when you need it most!". So I went. And was surprised. I've lost five pounds. That's not the pound-a-week that I'd been doing at the beginning but it was more than I expected. And rather than getting chewed out, the dietician complimented me because, as she explained, under the circumstances of the last couple of months most people would have gained weight rather than lost any at all. She also gave me some strategies for dealing with people pushing food on me that I shouldn't be eating. It is very hard to turn down someone's homemade treat that they are so proud of, and danged irritating to have someone else shove a spoonful of something at my face with the demand, "taste this!" only to scowl and glower when I decline. "It's a small amount and you should have tried it" seems to be justification enough to treat me like an antisocial meanie because I wouldn't put that bit of food in my mouth... which social pressure I have difficulty dealing with. You know - that 'wanting to please people' thing is hard to turn off!

The downer side of the visit was learning that the soreness I've noticed in my legs when I've pushed to stay upright long enough for them to go numb before I sit back down is oxygen starvation in the cells. I was, as I had thought (but my Primary Care doc brushed off) actually harming myself by attempting to walk more daily. She wants me to start noting exactly when the circulation begins to cut off - I really only notice once the whole leg is mostly numb, because I'm focused on whatever it is that I'm doing - shopping, usually - so now I need to pay attention and get a time line. In the meanwhile, mobility at Pennsic is going to be limited far more than I had planned.

Anyway. So Tuesday afternoon had me humming to myself because a dreaded appointment had been positive and affirming. Wednesday was my oncology appointment, where I would get the news about the enlarged lymph node - was it still enlarged? If it was, that pretty much meant cancer again.

It was not. My doctor said, "You keep passing all of my tests" and has placed me on what would be a maintenance regime - my appointments will now be twice a year, and the same with CT scans. While they do not use the word 'remission' with my type of cancer, for all intents and purposes that is what I am in.

And I left his office, came home to lunch, then put music on and cut out & made two gowns from scratch (no pattern), then fitted them onto the new owner this evening and that was that.

Fear. I wasn't even aware I'd been carrying it. I now feel as though I've woken up from a sludgy sleep, mentally.

Friday featured a 10-hour drive to Slippery Rock, PA, so we could attend the Pennsic staff meeting on Saturday. It was a long drive. We decided to check out route 68, which is West Virginia's pride - it was a lovely route but not a particularly safe one - the road hugged the hills and featured many three-lane sections specifically designed to handle the slower traffic of 4-cylider cars and laboring 18-wheelers. Of course, even though our little economy vehicle was stressed trying to go up the hills, the 85-mile-an-hour coasting down the other side was nice. We opted for our traditional route (Penn turnpike) on the way back, though, as a severe storm was sweeping through and we (rightly) anticipated flooding roads and rain-squall blindness. Normally the home drive is two hours shorter than the Pennsic drive but the rain squelched that so it was a little over 10 hours each way. That made for a very long weekend. Also a downer was the discussion with our hotel, which charged us for an extra night because we had secured our reservations for "Friday and maybe Saturday" with our credit card, only to find out on Saturday that they do not consider it 'securing' a reservation but rather booking the room. So even though we told them at check in on Friday that we would not be needing the extra day, and stressed it multiple times, we found that we were charged for it anyway, "because we had to turn other people away who wanted to reserve for that night, so you owe us that." A family-run hotel, just getting started, with only 18 rooms and the oddest one we'd ever stayed in. Needless to say, we will not be staying there again. (Not because of the misunderstanding, but because of spotty service and communication, and because the bathroom, while much larger than a regular one, was lit only by one light bulb so showering was done in a dim closet-like environment with no exhaust fan from the room. Bossman was smart enough to grab one of the floor lamps from our suite and place it in the bathroom, which helped with visibility.

The trip actually was a waste of time. I had a three-minute face-to-face with the mayor, and then on Saturday morning we had a less-than-one-hour general meeting, and that was it. It all could have been accomplished just as well over the internet via email. Thankfully this is the last time I'll be called on to make that meeting - I do not anticipate ever being in a key staff position again. Since I have no plans to train as a possible mayor, and have never been one in the past, I am not a candidate for a senior staff position. This year was my one 'shot', which I appreciate but am glad to walk away from. It has been a frustrating year of no training, no SOP, and no idea what was needed from me until a series of public messages announced that I was overdue on deadlines. My comment that an SOP would be useful was met with derision... I can find other ways to meet my 'frustration and humiliation quota".

Although - I am considering checking out the Lost & Found department. There have been some 'lean' years of people doing the job more because they were trying to take care of an empty spot in the staff rather than because they wanted the position. There hasn't been a good fit for a while now. I know I could do it well, and it would give me a niche to fill. Not to mention that the hours are great compared to the hours needed for the other jobs I've done!

This afternoon at the grocery store I picked up a 24-can case of soda to bring home and then stopped, grabbed an additional 12-pack to hold at the same time, and felt good about myself. The combine weight of the two is how much I've lost since mid-February. It was cheering to hold that awkwardly heavy bundle and realize that it was something I'd not be subjecting my bones to ever again. So even though I haven't lost a clothing size yet (that happens when you are as heavy as I am), it feels good to have an awareness of my progress. I do have more of a waist, though, now - my tummy no longer juts out beyond my chest. That is nice.

I'm spending the week sewing two Russian sarafans for a friend. I've only made their pattern so far so actually creating a real one is something I am looking forward to. I don't know much about the style - I'm copying a set of finished ones someone else made for her - but I feel confident these will look good on her. The pattern did, and it was just made of junk fabric. She is paying me to do the sewing so I might be able to afford ordering our new pavilion after the weekend. That would be one worry I could set aside.

And now I should go to google and see if I can learn a little more about sarafans, just to satisfy my own curiosity.

For the past two, maybe three, weeks I've been sewing for my little booth at Holiday Faire. I haven't made enough stock though, not enough to reach my goal even if it all sells. There are a lot of merchants at that event and many of them are selling garb. Oh well - I will make some money and I know that some tired and anxious parents will have clothing for their children that they won't have to try to find the time to make themselves.

But pricing has been a struggle. I know that SCA garb is almost always sold under-price compared to what would be considered normal for Renn Faires or other venues. $15-$20 a tunic/dress is the most I can reasonably charge for the majority of my wares else no one will buy them - not for clothing designed to fit infants to size 8(ish). So I know that this won't be the one-shot effort that I had imagined. I'll have to set up my booth at least once more before spring, and then suck it up and serve ramen for a while so we can afford the new pavilion. Thank goodness them suckers last a long time! I don't believe we'll need another one again. Our enthusiasm for camping is fading as the TV and chair look more and more inviting. "Hotel" events are going to be more our norm.

Just for the fun of it, behind the cut are some of my little outfits. At least, some of the ones I feel fond of. ( SCA clothes for little people )

The one thing I dislike about the medicine I (occasionally) take for muscle cramps during sleep is that once they take hold - my goodness, do I sleep! I took some yesterday morning and didn't wake up until six o'clock in the evening. Groggy but rested. There is a reason why I just deal with those darned spasm-thingies as best I can, without drugs.

Bossman was watching TV with his headphones on... I gave him those things but I don't know if I like them or not. He has the sound cranked up pretty high on them, so I worry that they may be harming his hearing more than helping. And the house is so silent in cases like today's. Rather creepy, actually, because I can feel that someone is in the house but I have no noise to clue me in as to where or who. I wasn't too groggy to make taco salad for 'dinner', though, and we spent a couple of hours watching TV together before he headed to bed.

Today was his final (we hope) radiation treatment. At last he can let all of the horrible sticky-tape over the multitude of sharpie-pen marks start to come off. Taking the tape off is a Bad Idea as it will also remove a few layers of skin at the same time. But getting it nice and soapy, and tired of holding on, is a good one. He has over a month before he'll have to do tests again. What bliss.

It took me approximately 10 hours to remove all the stitches from my protogee's chemise's neckline. Luckily for my cramping fingers, the sleeves are too long and all I'll have to do is cut them off at the cuff and then re-sew them as they ought to have been done. I'm looking forward to giving it back to her tomorrow. I'm also looking forward to giving her the three yards or so of straps for her Viking apron-dress (hangerroc). She was low on fabric for the making of the hangerroc so I used a scrap cut into short strips, then sewed all of them end-to-end, folded the length over by fourths and stitched the edges. It will be right, one long loop over each shoulder for the brooch pins to go through (and one short loop at each front point) but my goodness was that a tedious bit of sewing. All those tiny seams stopping me every time I'd get in a stitching rhythm! Stitch, fold, stitch, fold, stitch, stop, fold carefully, sew three stitches, fold over again and hold carefully some more, stitch... ah, past that and back to 'normal'. For about five minutes. ARG!

But at least she won't have Osh-Gosh-By-Gosh overall straps like a Minne-so-ta Viking. :)

And I am excited, excited, excited that I found denim fabric with stripes that look like early-period inkles, which I shall use as trim for many, many Viking & Anglo-Saxon items.

My part of it is finished. Mama will do the embroidery after it reaches her. The tuck in the skirt worked, so at some point it can be taken down and the skirt will be about one and a half inches longer. And there are two rows of 'soft' Velcro on the inside flap so the bodice & shirt can be widened or made smaller around the body.

First you take something like this:


and you cut it up into the strips that most appeal to you.



And then you use your stripes to decorate garb.

I didn't make anything really resembling period clothing, with the possible exception of the pseudo-Italian Renn (which I then ruined the lines of with a Velcro opening). The mother of this 18-month-old baby works in Pennsic Staff and is not in the least concerned about authenticity. She just doesn't want to run around with her child in a onesie. So I indulged myself, since I'm not charging her for these and bought inexpensive fabrics (how long do these have to last? About a week, maybe a week and a half).

I photographed them with my phone so they don't show as well as I'd like. But I wanted to keep a little record of what I'd done, for future days when I'm feeling down on myself. ( tunics, gown, and surcote in modern fabrics )

Pennsic Prep continues. Bossman cut down the dowels (whatever they are called - the long poles at each corner of a bed frame which might support a canopy) so they are about waist-high now. They'll pack in the truck much easier this way and since I won't have a canopy on my bed, there is no need for the original height. Although I did feel a pang of regret that we were abusing a good Ethan Allen bed. He salvaged the knobs at the top of each pole, which were separate items fitted with a dowel, drilled holes in the new 'tops' and fitted the knobs into those. He did such a fine job staining the raw bits of wood that I couldn't tell in strong sunlight what the difference was between the new stain and the old finish.

Tomorrow I go searching for "bed lifts", as the bed was designed for a mattress and foundation but I'll only be using the mattress. The surface of the bed will be four inches shorter than normal but the bed lifts on each leg should take care of the difference. I'm going to miss my slates. Bossman is insisting that we use a solid board instead. Ugh. As we find in so many hotel rooms, it will be like sleeping on a lightly-padded rock. Especially since our regular bed has a nice comfy waterbed mattress (with a 2" foam top).

The horrible-looking stripe on my night gown has been removed. Yay. I am still picking out bits of the ends from the seams but truly I'll be the only one who notices them since the seams are right at the edge of the armhole. Next will be making the tunic. I'm still torn on the neck opening. Experiment, or stay safe?