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Pennsic was very interesting for me, I'd say, in a series of odd ways.
First, I realised how very much it hurt to think about never returning. To think about how many people I'd never see again. And then I learned that the company with the frakking rights will not be frakking this year but instead are going to drill a bit and then cap the hole. Ethically, I should still stick to my resolve to quit attending but my weasel-mind has decided that as long as the frakking isn't happening (my current interpretation of this is, "the Cooper's got one over on them"), then I can plan to attend next year after all. And so on down the years until the frakking actually happens. I know that is bending my own ethics into a pretzel but my sore heart has talked me into that shape. It was all those hugs... I'm not a very 'huggy' person and only enjoy the act with a small set of people - and most of that set are folks I'll not see again once I cannot return to Cooper's Lake.
So look for me next year.
I will not be working on staff next year. There is no way I can anticipate my level of health at that time, it being the third year of my treatment (and thus the most debilitating), so I am instead planning on lazing about in camp and getting to just a few easy-to-reach places for visits. If I'm up to it, I'll volunteer at various Points - Watch, Info, Penn-DART - to help out. And maybe I can even take (*gasp*) some classes. I'm rather excited about the idea of being a camp-mom again and feeding my khanate every day. Which leads to me absolutely lusting after this with gleeful thoughts about the smell of freshly-baked cinnomon rolls waking my husband up in the morning. Or of baking Shepard's Pies for dinner (or roasted gamehens stuffed with blackberries. Finally). It is certainly not medieval-cooking but I find that for Pennsic camping, I'm more interested in getting the food made than I am in spending the hours necessary to do it in a period manner. There's just plain too much other stuff to do.
I am also researching the purchase of a battery-powered air conditioner since the heat has been what hits me the hardest, setting up a cascade of painful difficulties. But I'm cavilling over spending the money (about $100) for a modern luxury item that I should need for only one year. As well as being a bit concerned that I'd get spoiled by it and not want to give it up after I'm done with my therapy!
In order to cut down on our set-up/tear-down work load, we've decided to save up and purchase a new tent. Most likely, it will be a 16x16 with a single center pole rather than one that requires a ridge pole. I've seen how well that size works for some of my friends and I think it would do well for us. Setting up one tent rather than three will be a huge difference, a true stress-relief.
Have you ever gone back to someplace that was once 'home' to you, only to find that what you had cherished was truly in the past? You know, like visiting your old school, or walking through the house you grew up in... that happened to me this Pennsic when I visited the Marinus Camp. I founded that camp - and crafted the system we use for the meal plan - and after years and years of being involved in it and then stepping away for a time, I've come to realise that it honestly isn't home any longer. There are only a handful of faces that light up when we see each other. Somehow, while that saddens me, it also feels as though I've walked through a door into another world and already know I'll be happier there than if I tried to force my way back into the old one.
All things change in time.
First, I realised how very much it hurt to think about never returning. To think about how many people I'd never see again. And then I learned that the company with the frakking rights will not be frakking this year but instead are going to drill a bit and then cap the hole. Ethically, I should still stick to my resolve to quit attending but my weasel-mind has decided that as long as the frakking isn't happening (my current interpretation of this is, "the Cooper's got one over on them"), then I can plan to attend next year after all. And so on down the years until the frakking actually happens. I know that is bending my own ethics into a pretzel but my sore heart has talked me into that shape. It was all those hugs... I'm not a very 'huggy' person and only enjoy the act with a small set of people - and most of that set are folks I'll not see again once I cannot return to Cooper's Lake.
So look for me next year.
I will not be working on staff next year. There is no way I can anticipate my level of health at that time, it being the third year of my treatment (and thus the most debilitating), so I am instead planning on lazing about in camp and getting to just a few easy-to-reach places for visits. If I'm up to it, I'll volunteer at various Points - Watch, Info, Penn-DART - to help out. And maybe I can even take (*gasp*) some classes. I'm rather excited about the idea of being a camp-mom again and feeding my khanate every day. Which leads to me absolutely lusting after this with gleeful thoughts about the smell of freshly-baked cinnomon rolls waking my husband up in the morning. Or of baking Shepard's Pies for dinner (or roasted gamehens stuffed with blackberries. Finally). It is certainly not medieval-cooking but I find that for Pennsic camping, I'm more interested in getting the food made than I am in spending the hours necessary to do it in a period manner. There's just plain too much other stuff to do.
I am also researching the purchase of a battery-powered air conditioner since the heat has been what hits me the hardest, setting up a cascade of painful difficulties. But I'm cavilling over spending the money (about $100) for a modern luxury item that I should need for only one year. As well as being a bit concerned that I'd get spoiled by it and not want to give it up after I'm done with my therapy!
In order to cut down on our set-up/tear-down work load, we've decided to save up and purchase a new tent. Most likely, it will be a 16x16 with a single center pole rather than one that requires a ridge pole. I've seen how well that size works for some of my friends and I think it would do well for us. Setting up one tent rather than three will be a huge difference, a true stress-relief.
Have you ever gone back to someplace that was once 'home' to you, only to find that what you had cherished was truly in the past? You know, like visiting your old school, or walking through the house you grew up in... that happened to me this Pennsic when I visited the Marinus Camp. I founded that camp - and crafted the system we use for the meal plan - and after years and years of being involved in it and then stepping away for a time, I've come to realise that it honestly isn't home any longer. There are only a handful of faces that light up when we see each other. Somehow, while that saddens me, it also feels as though I've walked through a door into another world and already know I'll be happier there than if I tried to force my way back into the old one.
All things change in time.
