Scared

Nov. 16th, 2010 06:06 am
stitchwhich: (Cindy-girl)
[personal profile] stitchwhich
It's a vicious circle* - I get all jittery-scared before I have to go in and have anything done medically that involves an IV because of my extreme vagal response** and being scared only increases my chances of triggering that response. Which would reinforce it, not reduce it.

I'm sitting here, typing, with shaking fingers and blood pounding in my ears because I'm such a wuss. I'm hoping the act of writing about it will help my Inner Child calm down some. Because I know, first of all, that each time I get an IV and it doesn't trigger the reflex, I'm closer to being 'cured', and secondly, the staff were wonderfully cooperative the last time I was there, which was less than a month ago, so I have no reason to think they won't be this time. So I should stop being so fearful.

Really, I just need a Diet Pepsi. It will all be better once I can drink something.***


*And by the time I read your responses, if any, it will be all done and I'll be back home and fine.

**Mmy heart stops unless the IV is put in place in the crook of my arm, which, since I used to give blood, doesn't trigger the fear. Having had CPR three times in the hospital thanks to this, believe me, I rather hate the whole IV thing. Not to mention the whole, "No, really, it's not just a faint, the heart stops - I am not exaggerating. I'm sorry I didn't bring in my medical record to prove it to you but I still insist that you put the IV in where *I* want it, not where you want it. And no, intravenous Valium after the fact does not help!" bit gets a little wearying.

***This time, I'm bringing my Horde Peer travel cup with me, with a bag of Bigelow's Apple Cider tea already staged in it, so when I start shivering in reaction to the aenastesia, I'll have something hot to drink that I like, as opposed to the (very sweetly brought to me) coffee that the nurses gave me. I turned down their offer of tea - Lipton's. Urg.

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