On Birthdays
Nov. 29th, 2010 04:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stitchwhichI am completely flummoxed about the way we are "supposed" to feel about our birthdays. In theory, they are exciting, wonderful days that come once a year, where everyone around you celebrates their luck in having you in their world.
Up until you turn 28, at which point we turn everything on its head and we then piss, moan, complain and dread - and in the case of some of my acquaintances - actively resent and despise - that same marker.
So. In an average life, we should look forward to a day set aside to be glad to be alive and surrounded by the loving... for 28 years. And then spend the next 50 of them hating the very thought of the date and scowling at anyone who mentions 'age'. Celebrate for 1/3 of our lives and slide downhill for 2/3s?
I am SO not buying into that. Just as I am not buying into the idea that I'm supposed to find it loving or flattering to be called 'young lady' or told that I 'am having another 29th birthday'. Damn it, my birthday is MINE. I like it. I like that I've survived another year on this earth. I like the reminder that I've built wonderful friendships and memories, and that I have so much to celebrate. I like being older - what the heck is the alternative? I mean really - get all bent out of shape about the digits moving up by one? What the HELL is that? WHY is it 'bad'? Why, after a certain age, are we programed to go postal on someone who dares to mention 'aging'? We don't go postal about someone mentioning 'breathing'. Or 'gravity'.
I really, honestly don't get it. I respect my friend's wishes when they want to ignore or deny their chance for celebration, but as for me:
1 - I love my friend's birthdays. I love having a day set aside, once a year, like Thanksgiving, Yule, and Valentine's Day, when I can focus on someone I care about and celebrate them. Their uniqueness, their personality, the richness that they add to my life. Once a year, I want - I crave - the opportunity to pause a minute and be thankful for knowing them.
2 - I am grateful that my mother decided to work so hard to bring me into this world. It has been an incredible experience, this human life I've had.
3 - Every year beyond age 38, my actual 'death day', has been a gift and I'll be damned if I'm going to deny the preciousness of it. And I didn't really need to experience that momentary death in order to know that life - and my participation in it - is precious.
4 - If one more person calls me 'young lady', as if I haven't achieved the ripe maturity and the wisdom of the years I wear, I swear to the Gods I will smite them. With the sharp side of my tongue.
So there.
Up until you turn 28, at which point we turn everything on its head and we then piss, moan, complain and dread - and in the case of some of my acquaintances - actively resent and despise - that same marker.
So. In an average life, we should look forward to a day set aside to be glad to be alive and surrounded by the loving... for 28 years. And then spend the next 50 of them hating the very thought of the date and scowling at anyone who mentions 'age'. Celebrate for 1/3 of our lives and slide downhill for 2/3s?
I am SO not buying into that. Just as I am not buying into the idea that I'm supposed to find it loving or flattering to be called 'young lady' or told that I 'am having another 29th birthday'. Damn it, my birthday is MINE. I like it. I like that I've survived another year on this earth. I like the reminder that I've built wonderful friendships and memories, and that I have so much to celebrate. I like being older - what the heck is the alternative? I mean really - get all bent out of shape about the digits moving up by one? What the HELL is that? WHY is it 'bad'? Why, after a certain age, are we programed to go postal on someone who dares to mention 'aging'? We don't go postal about someone mentioning 'breathing'. Or 'gravity'.
I really, honestly don't get it. I respect my friend's wishes when they want to ignore or deny their chance for celebration, but as for me:
1 - I love my friend's birthdays. I love having a day set aside, once a year, like Thanksgiving, Yule, and Valentine's Day, when I can focus on someone I care about and celebrate them. Their uniqueness, their personality, the richness that they add to my life. Once a year, I want - I crave - the opportunity to pause a minute and be thankful for knowing them.
2 - I am grateful that my mother decided to work so hard to bring me into this world. It has been an incredible experience, this human life I've had.
3 - Every year beyond age 38, my actual 'death day', has been a gift and I'll be damned if I'm going to deny the preciousness of it. And I didn't really need to experience that momentary death in order to know that life - and my participation in it - is precious.
4 - If one more person calls me 'young lady', as if I haven't achieved the ripe maturity and the wisdom of the years I wear, I swear to the Gods I will smite them. With the sharp side of my tongue.
So there.
